Exit Exam

Well - it seems the miracles just keep coming here - I passed the exit exam!!! I might need to give a warning right now that this post might contain some bragging - I even scored in the 80th percentile of all math majors (not just math education majors) taking the test - and not just SUU students either - students from universities all over the nation!!! I can't tell you how relieved I was to get that news. I had studied every "kid sleeping" moment for almost 6 weeks - well, the last 2 weeks I was distracted by other things - in fact, I didn't even know if I was going to take the test until the week before. The timing with everything that was going on with Paige was miraculous as well - not only was I here for the test, but it was the week that I was hopeful that the tumor would turn out to be something benign - so I was able to concentrate on the test somewhat. My house was littered with papers like below for weeks.

I was able to get some use out of the forest that seems to be coming home in the boys backpacks daily. Now all I have to do to get the paper that says I can be a teacher is to do my student teaching - well, I have a few more papers to turn in for the classes I'm in right now as well. However - this is my last week of school - and I don't have any finals - yep, you read that right - my final for the block is to watch the movie "To Sir, With Love" and write a 2 page paper on it. So this weekend I am going to celebrate by reading a book - it has been quite a while since I have had that luxury. I was going to ask for suggestions on a good book, but I just saw that Ally's new book Matched came out today and I think I talked Brittnie into letting me read her copy before she does :). However, if you do want to leave a comment with a book suggestion - I might be needing another book before the break is over. I am now feeling bad about bragging - I know that I had heavenly help during the test, I really did have inspiration on many questions that at first I didn't even know where to start. There were also a lot of questions where I narrowed the answer down to 2 choices, but must have made some lucky guesses. I know that my prayers have been answered yet again!

Week of Miracles!

Paige has been incredible this week. The first few days were a bit rough - I don't know that rough is the word I want to describe it - she just was quiet and still. That was hard to watch as a mom - none of my kids have ever been what could be described as calm - so I know something is pretty wrong when they just want to be held. After 2 days of being constantly held (yes - she even got to sleep in my bed) - she started to want to play and move again. She is now only on Motrin (last Loritab dose was 2 days ago) and seems completely back to her fun, inquisitive, headstrong self. She does NOT favor her right arm at all - there were a couple days at the beginning where I thought she might turn to her left hand - but she is doing everything with her right arm now. Her quick recovery is just one miracle we have seen this week.

Another miracle came today when the doctor called to give us the pathology results. We had been out to see our family doctor today to have her wound checked (she has been pulling at the bandage and managed to pull it half off). While at his office, the doctor told us that the pathology results were in and that all the tissue was clean (he said her wound is healing nicely as well). That was great news!!! As we were leaving the hospital - our Primary Children's Hospital doctor (surgeon) called and explained a bit more to me. He said that there were NO cancer cells in any of the tissue that they removed or in the muscle. It is truly miraculous - since the first biopsy showed cancer cells clear up to the edge of the tumor. The doctor said this was the best case scenerio for what he called "curative surgery" - meaning she won't need any more treatments! He did say there was some "reactive tissue" among her tissue - and I need to research that a bit more to understand what that meant (the timing of his call was really bad - Paige was still crying from the doctors office - some of the tape was hard to get off her back - and Abby tripped and fell down as we were in the parking lot - so there was lots of noise and I was so happy about the first news that I forgot to ask many questions). He also said that some collegues were suggesting that she have a minisule lymph node biopsy - which is another surgery - just to make sure that the cancer is gone. We will get more information about that when we go up for a check-up in 4 weeks - I got the impression that our doctor doesn't think it is as good an idea as his collegues do, but he is good to give us both sides of the story.

I am soooooo grateful to my Heavenly Father right now. I have been in constant amazement this past month of how I continue to see miracle after miracle. I am so thankful for the opportunity I have had to trust him and see my faith grow so much.

I wish I had more time to write more feeling I have right now, but I will have to do that later. Right now I am going to go finish (OK - well, start and then finish) a substitute handbook that is due tomorrow morning - it has been a struggle to get back to "real life". Thank you to all for your prayers and fasting - I am overwhelmed at how many people are praying for us - we love and appreciate all of you!!!

Tree Hunting

We were invited to go tree hunting with some good friends yesterday. I was reminded of past tree hunting expeditions we had while living in Reno. I have been super blessed to have great friends everywhere we have lived - Lori Knight is one of my best friends from Reno. I met her while still living in Eugene - we had a mutual friend who introduced us while we were both in the stages of moving to Reno. I called Lori in panic when we first got to Reno in a moving truck full of furniture that I didn't want to help lift (I was pregnant with Abby). I called hoping she could help me find what ward we were going to be in - instead, she sent her husband clear across town (20-30 minute drive) to help us. Then, she came and got the boys the next day for a couple of hours so that I could finish unpacking without their help. We stayed good friends for the next couple years - even though she lived quite far away from us. Ethan went to pre-school with her kids and she was always willing to babysit the boys for doctors appointments or whatever. We joined their family for many events - including Christmas when I was too pregnant to travel to Utah. When we were looking at houses to buy - we ended up in her neighborhood - in fact, we bought the house 3 doors down the Knights and were neighbors for a couple of months. The reason I am including all this history is because the Knight/Forbush families always invited us to join us when they went to get their Christmas tree. They would mail off for permits from California and we would drive 1 1/2 to 2 hours to find the good trees. Anyway, I always enjoyed those trips and so yesterday was quite nostalgic as we joined the Heaton/Larsen family to hunt for the "perfect" tree.
The snow was deep on Cedar Mountain - which made the trip a bit shorter for us. We found our "perfect" tree right away though (the fact that it was relatively close to the road might have made it even more perfect). It looks really big from the picture here - we did have to cut off a bit - but it is by far the most well-balanced tree we have ever had.
Both boys wanted a turn with the saw - they are starting to get soooo big (maybe by next year they will even be able to drag the tree back to the car for me).

Abby also wanted to try the saw - however, she was easily distracted - here is her attempt of a snow angel.

We got back to the cars and the boys tried snowboarding on the sleds that other friends had left for us to borrow. Miles did OK.

Ethan had a bit of a harder time.

Highlight of the trip though was the hot chocolate that LaRae brought!!!

Thanks so much LaRae for inviting us - we all had a blast!!!

Surgery

We were at the hospital pretty much all day today. The doctor's office called and wanted us to come in and meet with the surgeon before we checked into surgery. So we were at the hospital this morning at 10:30. The surgeon gave us more good news - the bone scan looked great. He also answered lots more of my questions and explained more of what was going to happen today - we really do have an incredible doctor! The MRI showed that there was a spot on one of Paige's muscles -so along with lots more tissue, the surgeon also removed a muscle. He said that it wouldn't affect her mobility or her strength though since other muscles will compensate for it. She went in for surgery a little after 1:00 p.m. and came out around 3:00 p.m.. She had a harder time in recovery than she did after last surgery so we didn't actually get discharged from the hospital until 6:00 tonight. She is pretty sore (understandably so) and the pain killers make her quite lethargic which is very unPaige-like. It has been a pretty emotionally draining day in all, but we got a great report from the doctor - everything went just like he hoped it would. We will get the results from the pathology lab next week - which will be the real test of how successful the surgery was. Piper was great today as well - and a big thank you to Frank for helping with her at the hospital - I was able to focus on Paige but keep Piper close by. Also thanks to all of Frank's family for helping with the other kids! I have more I want to write about the miracles I have witnessed this past week, but I will save that for another post because I am too tired and emotionally drained to write about it right now. A huge thank you to all my family and friends who have kept us in thoughts and prayers today - we love you!!!

Day 2

Today we went into the hospital for a bone scan. It was a harder day than yesterday at the hospital, but a much easier day afterward. Paige couldn't eat this morning and that was tough - she whined and whined for food or drink and I felt awful that I couldn't give it to her. I had to sneak Piper food and drink when Paige wasn't looking, so she didn't get a lot to eat either. When we got to the hospital they started another IV - this time in her foot. Then they gave her some radioactive stuff that makes her bones glow when they x-ray them. We had to wait for 1 1/2 hours before they could do the scan - and yes, by then it was like 12:00 p.m. and still no food or drink for Paige. Luckily Primary Children's Hospital has a pretty fun play room.
They let us stay in the room while they did the bone scan (Piper had fallen asleep by this time) and explained what they were looking for as they went along. The scan looked great to them, but they still needed to have a radiologist check it to make sure as well as our doctor. We didn't hear anything official from the doctor today, but the hospital called to give us a time for surgery tomorrow - 1:00 p.m. (and yes - Paige is going to be hungry and thirsty tomorrow as well). We are still hoping to meet with the doctor before surgery to get more questions answered and will report more about that tomorrow.
I mentioned that Paige was a lot happier today after we got home than she was yesterday - they gave her a different sedation drug and she was walking 1 hour after we got home and back to her pleasant little self.
Thank you to all that joined us for the fast on Sunday. We are seeing miracles daily!!!

Great News!!!

Paige's lungs look great! The sarcoma hadn't spread to her lungs and although we still have to do the bone scan tomorrow, the doctor was reassuring that it would be highly unlikely that it would have spread to her bones either. The MRI showed the tumor was localized as well, and the doctor now knows how much tissue needs to be removed. So in other words - this is the best case scenario!!!!!
Paige is a trooper - it was quite a long day. We were at the hospital around 7 this morning and instead of doing a general anesthetic, they just gave her some medicine through an IV to make her sleep for a couple hours. This was good news for me - I was expecting 3 days of breathing tubes and am very glad that I was wrong. The IV wasn't even as bad as I was expecting - the nurses were great and used a small needle (the kind they use with preemies and newborns). Paige fought the anesthesia though and they ended up having to give her a different medicine as well to make sure she was asleep. She did great coming out of it - and was rewarded with a orange popsicle which she wore on her face and hands the rest of the day (we had to have an extra long bath tonight to get rid of the orange stain).

The anesthesia did make her (very) cranky and (very) dizzy. She didn't understand though why she was having so much trouble walking and why everyone was following her around to make sure she didn't fall. So most of the day today was spent with trying to keep Paige from hurting herself. The dizziness finally wore off after dinner tonight, but not before we had a good game of twin foosball.

The twins and I are staying with my brother and sister-in-law this week while the big kids are with their dad at his parent's house. We have actually spent quite a bit of time at the Gilmore's as well and while their house if full of fun new toys for the babies, Michael's house doesn't have many (any) toys. Michael does however have any type of ball that you can think of. So Paige and Michael came up with the game of twin foosball. I thought it would be easier to let you watch the game rather than try to explain, so for those interested, here is a quick game of twin foosball (and it is a lot harder than it looks - or maybe I should have traded kids with Michael since Piper is about 5 lbs heavier than her sister).

Sunday

Dear Family and Friends,

I have debated and debated whether or not I should do this as a blog post, it seems so informal, but it is also the best way to get the word out right now.

There have been so many people asking what they can do to help right now and offering to do anything they can. Life right now is still pretty normal right now - almost too normal sometimes, so it is hard to find anything that we need besides prayers (but we really appreciate all the cookies that have been dropped off).

However, I have asked my family to fast with us tomorrow (Sunday) and am now extending the invitation to anyone else out there who would like to. Paige will have to be sedated for all three tests that they are going to do this week as well as the surgery on Wednesday - so I am fasting for not only the doctors to be able to guided as they perform the tests and surgery, but also for her little body to handle all the anesthesia (and breathing tubes, and being taken away from mom, etc.) that go along with all these tests.

I know that our Heavenly Father is a god of miracles - I have already seen many these past few weeks. I also know that prayer and fasting is a powerful way to secure these miracles - I am so grateful for the supportive family and friends that I have.

Thank you for all you have been doing, and all that you continue to do!

Love,
Heidi

Plans

This is just a quick post (since I literally have 10 kids running around my house right now - and I don't know how long they are going to let me ignore them) to let you know that all the plans I made last night have since been changed. I had already done 3 loads of laundry this morning when the doctors office called to schedule Paige's appointments. We won't be going up north until Monday (well, Sunday afternoon/night). We are scheduled for the MRI and CT scan on Monday morning at 7 am, the bone scan will be done Tuesday morning and she will have surgery on Wednesday. I am feeling peaceful about this now, when they first called though - I had them track down the doctor to see if we couldn't get up there sooner - but I guess I now have time to get "everything in order" before we go (I have since slowed down in the laundry department). I really like our doctors and I do trust them - I know Paige is in good hands.

Lab Results

The doctor called tonight with the pathology results. It is called Epithelioid Sarcoma - but before you google it I will warn you that some of the information out there is quite scary. The doctor warned me of this (after I asked him 2 times to spell it for me) - and told me while they are taking this very seriously, Paige does have some factors going her way. Paige's tumor was small and it hadn't attached to anything. He called after hours so he couldn't get an appointment set up for us, but told us they would call first thing in the morning to set up a day and time. He said (more than once) that they would get us up there this week. So since I like to plan - I have come up with a plan (but like many other plans of mine - it might change) and I am thinking that we will drive up tomorrow, go in for tests early on Thursday (they will do an MRI, a bone scan and a chest CT scan) and then they will do the surgery on Friday.

I am very thankful that they now know what it is and are moving forward quickly with treatments. I am also very thankful for the gospel and all the answers and comfort that it provides. I wish I were a wee bit stronger right now - I don't like to be scared, but ultimately I do know that miracles do happen and I want to have the faith that produces those miracles. Thank you again for all your prayers - I have incredible family and friends!!!

Patience

This past week has been a bit hard - and not just because someone decided to schedule both the Exit Exam and the Praxis within 3 days of each other. I have a hard time when I have to wait for something. Patience is not a strong point of mine (my kids are very aware of this fact - and they are occasionally known to pray for mom to get more patience).

So waiting this week to hear back from doctors has been torture. From the time I found the lump on Paige's back it seemed like everything went really fast - we saw the surgeon and we were in surgery the next day, we got the news of sarcoma and we were up at Primary Children's Hospital the next day.

Then things just stopped - and that has been tough. I like to be able to get answers immediately - thanks to the Internet, I sometimes think I can. In fact, I had been doing lots of research on spindle cell sarcoma's and was "absolutely sure" I knew what Paige had - I thought it was a sarcoma called synovial sarcoma. I had researched everything I could get my hands on about that form of sarcoma and had a long list of questions ready to ask the doctors when they called.

Then I got the call that they don't know what it is - and while I am extremely happy that I was wrong in my diagnosis since it still might be benign, it is extremely hard to research something that "looks like it is something weird" (true quote from the doctor at Primary Children's Hospital - I still have the message on my answering machine if you want to hear it). So I haven't been able to do anything this week and I don't like feeling helpless!

Well - after calling up to the hospital AGAIN on Friday and not hearing back from our doctors - I decided that maybe I needed to study patience. I read the talk by Elder Uchtdorf from the conference before last called Continue in Patience - and was blown away. I had previously thought of patience as merely waiting for something to happen - and wondered how Heavenly Father could expect me to merely wait at a time like this.

Well it seems that I have needed to humble myself yet again - I was wrong about patience. Here are just a few of the incredible truths I have learned from this talk (and I did include the link up above so you can read Elder Uchtdorf's talk yourselves if you want - I am using his words, but he has many more insights that I am not touching on).

- "Patience is not passive resignation, nor is it failing to act because of our fears. Patience means active waiting and enduring. It means staying with something and doing all that we can—working, hoping, and exercising faith; bearing hardship with fortitude, even when the desires of our hearts are delayed. Patience is not simply enduring; it is enduring well!"

- "Patience means to abide in faith, knowing that sometimes it is in the waiting rather than in the receiving that we grow the most."

- "Patience is a purifying process that refines understanding, deepens happiness, focuses action, and offers hope for peace."

After I had read this talk I dropped the kids off at the church to practice for their primary program. Let me clarify - I had meant to drop the kids off at the church for their primary practice, but Abby refused to get out of the car unless I came too. So, I got the twins out and we all went in - as I was wandering in the hall chasing the twins I noticed that one of the wards that shares the building with us had LOTS of old programs in the holder and I picked one up. I did really mean old too - not just from the previous Sunday, but the date was back in March. Well - there in big print on that program was the seminary mastery scripture that I had memorized 20 years ago "Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.”

It is funny how often answers to my prayers are things I already know - but I know that I needed to be reminded of that scripture during this time. I now have a whole different outlook on "waiting" - and I am grateful for the opportunity to "Trust in the Lord". So I am now "working" (fervently praying for the doctors to figure out what the tumor is and to know the best way to treat it) "hoping" and "excersing faith" - or as Elder Uchtdorf said, I am trying to not just "endure" this experience, but I am trying to "endure well".

Still waiting...

I called Primary Children's Hospital today to see if I could get ahold of one of the doctors we had seen last week. She was out of the clinic today and I decided just to leave a message instead of having them track her down (like they offered too). So I wasn't expecting to hear anything today - and it was a surprise when our family doctor called tonight with some news. He had called the pathology deparment up at Primary Children's Hospital earlier today and spoke to a doctor in the pathology lab who had done tests on the tissue they removed from Paige's back. The results are - THEY HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT IS! The doctor (and several of her collegues, who also have looked at it) has never seen anything like it before. They have sent it on to another lab for more testing. I am happy about this news - I was waiting for them to call and give me a name of a cancer. In fact, this report didn't use the word sarcoma at all - which I am taking as meaning that it didn't match with any type of sarcoma they were familiar with. Since they have not given me a name associated with cancer, I am still very hopeful and praying that it could be something benign. Another lab probably means another week though before we hear anything new - and this waiting stuff is getting hard!!!
I am more grateful than I can put into words for everyone's support - there are literally people all over the world praying for Paige (and me). I have learned so much about prayer these past couple weeks - I am grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who hears and answers my prayers. It is hard to believe that it has only been a week since I first heard the words "spindle cell" and "sarcoma" - at times it feels more like a month or even a year. I am so thankful for what I have learned about the Holy Ghost during this trying time - he can truly be a constant companion. There is no way that I could have made it through this week without the comfort and direction that he has given me.
I am now going to break out the math books again - the exit exam is only two days away. Hopefully, I might even be able to concentrate tonight!

leaves

There is a tree in my parent's backyard that has the best leaves for jumping into. Not only is the tree huge (so there are LOTS of leaves), but the leaves are huge (so they are easy to rake up). It was a bit windy today so the grandkids gathered at grandma's and grandpa's this afternoon for some fun in the leaves. The kids were bored with the traditional run and jump in the pile of leaves activity - so they got creative and piled them up right next to the trampoline. This is the only picture I got that had Ethan's head in it - he kept jumping higher than I thought he would and then I would snap the picture too soon and only have his legs.
Abby was the first one off the trampoline and into the leaves. She also holds the record for the most times off the trampoline - she had a great time.

Yes - if you were wondering if Miles really landed on his stomach - the answer is yes. But, the kid learns fast - he only did it once (one of these days he might learn to listen to his mom, who had just warned him that there was still hard ground under the leaves). Miles was the best at raking the leaves and running the leaf blower though - he can be a good worker when he thinks it is fun.

Paige wasn't too sure about the leaves - I would try to set her down to play in them and she would immediately hold her hands up to be picked up. She loved watching the other kids though.

Piper liked the leaves - she also thought she should be allowed to jump off the trampoline into the leaves. I caught her twice as she tried to run off the trampoline like the big kids.

I love fall (especially when it is still 70 degrees outside)!

Back to the "daily grind"

I thought it best (for both myself and the other kids) - that we get back to "normal" life. When I am busy, I have less time to worry about things. So this morning I left the girls with my parents while I went into the middle school for my practicum class. The teacher I am assigned to has been great - he lets me come whenever I can - so I gave him about 30 minutes warning and showed up. We had a "normal" afternoon with just the girls - we had lunch, they played (while I did a load of laundry, some dishes and TRIED to pick up after them - notice that TRIED is the keyword there - but that is also completely normal) and we ran a few errands before the boys were out of school. I left all 5 kids with my parents again for an hour while I went to a study session for the exit exam. I came back to get them and my mom had made dinner for all of us - Thank You Mom! I love not having to do dishes at night (or not having to feel guilty about not doing the dishes at night). We came home and got the girls bathed and the boys homework and practicing done (one of these days I might be able to add the word "happily" after the boys practicing done part - maybe?), and tucked 5 kids into bed after prayers and a story.
There were a few things that were not so normal today. I tried to hug Paige as often as I could - most of the time she didn't want to be held though, she would much rather climb on the table or hide in the cupboards. Piper would waddle over for a hug everytime she saw me try to pick up Paige though - so between the two of them, I got lots of great hugs today. Another very odd occurance - I kept my cell phone in my pocket the entire day. I know - amazing - I have never been a big fan of cell phones and even if I remember to take it with me when I leave the house, I usually leave it in the car. No call from doctors though - well, actually - our family doctor called to check on us this evening - he has been incredible, and he does call every night to see how things are going. But no call from Primary Children's Hospital doctors - I wasn't expecting a call so soon, but I was still half hoping to hear from them - maybe tomorrow.
It felt kind of funny to have such a "normal" day when things are so "not normal" right now. I felt guilty leaving Paige at all today (the other girls too for that matter) - even though I kept telling myself that most of the time she would be napping. Half of me wishes that I didn't have to worry about my school right now, but half of me is glad that there is something to keep me a bit distracted with. I still get scared about things at times, but I am continually amazed at how quickly the peace will return when I ask for it. I know my Heavenly Father loves me!
I have seen more miracles in my life today - I am constantly amazed at how kind people are. Thank you to those who have helped us - I hesitate to name names and even deeds, but I hope you know how much I appreciate the help. I don't want to sound redundant - and I know that I say this almost every post, but thank you all for your prayers.

Primary Children's Hospital

We had an appointment today at Primary Children's Hospital. We met with two doctors - Dr. Kevin Jones (who is one of only 2 doctors in the whole mountain west that specializes in sarcoma's) and Dr. Holly Spraiker (from the oncology department). They were incredible - I am so grateful to have them as the ones taking care of Paige. I don't have a lot to report - we didn't learn much new, but the peace that I have felt has only continued to grow. They didn't have the pathology report, so they just asked us questions about what procedures have been taken with Paige. They checked her for other masses - and didn't find any. Here are a few of the things that we were told:
- Sarcoma's are EXTREMELY rare in someone as young as Paige - but they were encouraging because they are usually not as invasive in the younger patients as well.
- We won't need to come back for a couple of weeks (darn - that means I have to continue to study for the exit exam) - they will call me when their pathologist looks at the slide and make an appointment and clarify what we are going to need to do.
- Most likely - this will be the plan of action. First - we need to have additional tests done - the first will be a MRI of the area where they removed the tumor. Depending on what they find (how far the "bad cells" go) - there are a few more tests that they will need to run. The two places that the cancer would spread to would be to the bones and the lungs, so they might need to run a test on her bones and a chest (CT) scan to check her lungs. These tests would all be done on one day and the next day they would do another surgery to take out more tissue surrounding where the tumor was.
- They were very positive about everything and seemed to think that they could get everything without chemotherapy or radiation. But they haven't seen the labs yet - so I will keep you updated as we hear more.
I am so grateful we came up today - we don't have a lot more answers - but we have GREAT doctors and I am able to plan for the next couple of weeks again. Thanks everyone for the prayers - we will let you know when we have something new to report.
Paige and Piper (well Piper was actually a bit scared of the horse - so maybe just Paige) loved the bright horse in front of the hospital. We needed Abby there to translate exactly what Paige was saying to the horse (usually Paige tells Abby that she would like a marshmellow - I never hear it, but Abby swears that is what she wants - and she wants Abby to have a marshmellow too) - but whatever it was she was very excited about it.

tomorrow

Primary Children's Hospital called this afternoon and scheduled an appointment for us tomorrow at 12:00. So - the twins and I are going to SLC tomorrow morning along with both of my parents. I am so grateful that they would both drop all of their commitments and come - I was just as nervous about going to the appointment alone as I was driving up there with the minimal sleep that I have gotten lately. I have debated about Abby - but decided to leave her here with my sister - I am not sure whether I am just going up for a consult or if we are staying up there. The lady who made the appointment couldn't give us much information about anything. The boys are also staying here too - they are boucing around all day between my brother Caleb, school, their friends and Brittnie. I am finding how extremely blessed I am right now - I have INCREDIBLE family and friends that would do anything for us both here in Cedar and up in SLC. Frank's family has been great too - they have offered any help that we need - whether it be a place to sleep, someone to watch other kids while I am with Paige, prayers - or even to come with me to appointments. I am grateful for their support during this - even though I am not technically family anymore - they still treat me as if I am. I am taking my computer and will try to post when I kow more and get a chance - thanks again for all the prayers (and dinner - and cookies - and watching my kids - and mowing my lawn - etc...) - I have the best support system in the whole world!!!

Update #2

This is a hard post for me to write. We got the results back about the tumor that was removed from Paige's back last week - they weren't good. The pathology report stated that it was a malignant spindle cell sarcoma - the tissues and slides were all sent up to Primary Children's Hospital for more testing and diagnosis. There are lots of cancers that fit under the category malignant spindle cell sarcoma so Primary Children's should be able to diagnose which cancer we are fighting. Here are the very few facts I know - the cancer cells went clear to the edges of the tumor which means that they will do more surgery to remove even more tissue - possibly even muscle tissue. Our surgeon said sometimes that is all that is needed - but there is possibility that radiation or chemotherapy will also be needed. The surgeon also said it is a rare form of cancer for a patient so young, so there are few answers right now. On my way home from the surgeons office our family doctor called. He had called the onocology unit at Primary Children's Hospital and said that they should be calling us today to set up an appointment for us to meet with one of their doctors this week.
I am so grateful for the peace that I feel right now. I truly know that everything is going to be "alright" - I really believe that I will be able to continue to raise Paige in this life, but if that is not what Heavenly Father means by "alright" - I am grateful beyond words for my knowledge and faith in the Plan of Salvation. I can't even imagine going through something like this without that knowledge and faith - it would be completely devastating. I have felt my Heavenly Father's love stronger this past couple of weeks than ever before - I know he is very aware of my prayers right now. I don't know if I can completely say that I am grateful for trials in my life - but I can say that I am grateful for the chance to grow closer to my Heavenly Father.
I will keep updating as I have more to report - we truly appreciate all your prayers on our behalf.